| Moving in with boyfriend. He pays child support. |
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Talllisa
New Member
Cash: $ 0.65
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Joined: 06 Jan 2015
Location: Minnesota
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| Moving in with boyfriend. He pays child support. |
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We'll be moving into a new home purchased under his name because of my recent bankruptcy. I have two sons ages 14&11. I have them 75% of the time. He has two sons ages 10&8. He has them 25% of the time. We do not intend to get married. We had a very mature and honest financial discussion. Here is the plan we came up with.
He makes 4000 a month after taxes. Pays 1500 a month in child support. 66 for cell and 368 for health insurance. Leaving him with roughly $2,000.
I make 2500 a month after taxes. 131 in car and life insurance. 150 for phone. And 100 for school lunch. Leaving me with approximately $2050 at the end of the month.
We estimate the mortgage will be $2000 a month and $1070 for all other regular expenses including groceries. He wants to split these 50/50. I feel a little bit like I'm being penalized for his child support. I'd like to see us split it by percentage based on our income. 62% and 38%. But that would leave him with virtually no money in his pocket.
I put myself and my kids in a very good position after my divorce. Moving in together will not financially benefit either of us. Our monthly expenses will pretty much stay the same if we do 50/50. I was hoping for a financial benefit. Bottom line is I love this man and want to be with him. I'm just wrestling with how to feel about the child support. I receive $800 a month in child support. Which was not calculated into the figures because I don't get it consistently. We're talking about whether that would go in my savings or a joint savings.
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Tue Jan 06, 2015 3:40 pm |
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littleroc02us
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IMO, it's hard to answer a question where you don't intend to work together on paying bills. I've personally never understood why married and unmarried couples pay bills seperately. My wife and I came into our marriage with debts and we both worked together using our incomes to pay off our debts and it has made us stronger. Personally, I don't think what your trying to do is wise. To me it sounds like your talking about a lot of house @ $2,000 a month or do you live in an expensive city?
What works for my wife and I is after we pay all of our bills and invest equally into Roth IRA's and other things, we give ourselves a monthly allowance to spend or save however much of that and it goes into a seperate account but that's the only thing we don't join.
Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing. (Warren Buffet)
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Tue Jan 06, 2015 4:31 pm |
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Talllisa
New Member
Cash: $ 0.65
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Joined: 06 Jan 2015
Location: Minnesota
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Thank you for your feedback. It is helpful. It might not make sense to people who haven't been divorced. I worked hard to put my sons and I in a good position post divorce. It's importnt for me to continue to do that once we make the move. I will be giving up my only asset, the home I own. When I was married I had a step daughter and never thought twice about paying her child support. But we were married.
My boyfriend and I have no debt. If we make all of our income "our" money, how do I protect my children and I if something doesn't work out?
We're looking at a 350,000 house with 3000+ sq ft to have room for four growing and active boys and to support my in home daycare business. The mortgage will be 50% of our combined income.
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Tue Jan 06, 2015 4:42 pm |
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littleroc02us
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Cash: $ 384.35
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quote:
Originally posted by Talllisa
Thank you for your feedback. It is helpful. It might not make sense to people who haven't been divorced. I worked hard to put my sons and I in a good position post divorce. It's importnt for me to continue to do that once we make the move. I will be giving up my only asset, the home I own. When I was married I had a step daughter and never thought twice about paying her child support. But we were married.
My boyfriend and I have no debt. If we make all of our income "our" money, how do I protect my children and I if something doesn't work out?
We're looking at a 350,000 house with 3000+ sq ft to have room for four growing and active boys and to support my in home daycare business. The mortgage will be 50% of our combined income.
Mathematically speaking then 50% of your income on a mortgage is insane. My rule of thumb personally is no more then 25% and that includes Mortgage, taxes and insurance. My current primary is 17% of our income and we are looking to buy soon and I'm gonna try to keep it around 22%. The reason you do that is that you have money to invest, donate, travel, pay for cars with cash and have fun with your kids. Your going to be house poor if you buy that home.
As for you question about "if it doesn't work out". Without a Marriage license you have no contract, so if you put this home in both of your names and your not married your gonna end up with another bankruptcy if it doesn't work out, because neither of you will be able to afford to stay in the home and will have to sell or worse short sale. My advice to you is to stop and do the math. What your proposing isn't going to work.
Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing. (Warren Buffet)
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Tue Jan 06, 2015 5:10 pm |
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Talllisa
New Member
Cash: $ 0.65
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Joined: 06 Jan 2015
Location: Minnesota
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I agree that 50% is insane. I don't want to be house poor. I will continue to push that with him. He will be purchasing the home under his name only. So he'll be in jeopardy of foreclosure if it doesn't work out.
Neither of us want to get married. We want to make our own money. How should the child support be treated in terms of splitting the bills?
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Tue Jan 06, 2015 5:42 pm |
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oldguy
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A normal family-sized house (about 1500 ft) works well for a couple with 4 kids. But what about the daycare business, how much footage does that take? And how about setting it up in the basement? Indoor/outdoor carpet, add a bathroom, refrig, toys, games, TV. That would cut the house cost down to under $200,000.
I would split costs 50/50. His take-home minus Support is $2500, and your take-home is $2500. He pays Support until age 18, 10 more yrs, maybe more if college is involved. You don't want to do something that would cause him to shirk that duty (you know first-hand how that happens).
If there is a nasty break-up, he would walk away with the house, there is no legal basis for to give you half. He has the loan so his name only is on the deed. Hopefully this won't be an outcome. 
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Tue Jan 06, 2015 7:40 pm |
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littleroc02us
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Cash: $ 384.35
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quote:
Originally posted by Talllisa
I agree that 50% is insane. I don't want to be house poor. I will continue to push that with him. He will be purchasing the home under his name only. So he'll be in jeopardy of foreclosure if it doesn't work out.
Neither of us want to get married. We want to make our own money. How should the child support be treated in terms of splitting the bills?
If I were in this situation, I would say "If you are going to spend half of your money on a mortgage, then I'm not willing to pay for any of it, because that is just plain stupid". As for the child support, I'm not the one to ask about this problem because I just don't know how to give someone good sound advice with the splitting of bills idea. I just can't get by that.
Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing. (Warren Buffet)
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Tue Jan 06, 2015 7:51 pm |
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Wino
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First off, I'd do nothing that you're talking about.
But since you're determined to do it, you should definitely keep the house in one name or the other. As it is in his name, you are paying "rent." He is the landlord. In such a situation, he pays to repair any and all major items that break. Furnace goes out? He pays. Termites? His dollar.
You either combine finances (stupid if not married; stupid not to, if you are married), or you do not. Since you are not and will not, "his" income and "your" income matter not. The utilities should be shared equally. You don't heat the house more because the kids are there. You don't use significantly more water or electricity because of head count. Cable TV and phones are cable TV and phones.
Paying more than 30% of your take home for a mortgage is guaranteed problems.
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Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:43 am |
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