| Bill Gates and God: Story |
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MoneySeeker92
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| Bill Gates and God: Story |
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This is pretty old, an old story, but I'll share it anyway. It's a fake story, of course, about Bill Gates and God. I don't know all of it, so I'll just put some of them in my own words.
WARNING: To all the people here that are religious, I don't mean this story in ANY offensive way. This is only for laughs.
Once upon a time, Bill Gates was on his airplane business trip around the world with his company. Suddenly, the plance crashed so they all died, including Bill. Then God appeared and said to Bill "I hate you because you invented the computer. But I'll let you choose. You want to go to Heaven, or Hell?" Bill said "Let's visit Hell first" so when God and Bill visited hell, he saw beautiful women laying on the beach and having fun. Then Bill said "Let's Visit Heaven" so then they visited Heaven and bill saw angels, heavens walking around.
Then God said to Bill, so where do you want to go?
Bill replied: I want to go to hell!
So God sent bill to.. hell.
5 years later, God went to visit Bill in hell. He saw Bill all scorched and burned. Bill saw God and said
"What happened to the women and the beach?" said Bill
God replied "Oh, that was just a screen saver."
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Sun Mar 13, 2005 5:45 pm |
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LottomagicZ4941
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LOL I had not heard that one must have been before I got on line.
Here is a mother theresa one.
Mother Theresa is in heaven with Jesus and He askes her if she wants to do dinner.
She is exited thinking all her sacrificing on Earth is going to pay off.
Well he served a tuna sandwich.
She was a little surprized but agreed to eat with him the next day.
Once again tuna.
After a while she could not handel this anymore so she is like what are they eating in hell?
So Jesus showed her and in hell they were having a big old BBQ.
She is like, "Jesus, I sacrificed in life why are they eating BBQ and I'm eating tuna?"
Jesus replied, "Everyone knows it's just not worth cooking for two."
I'm banking heavely on Jesus/God having a since of humor.
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Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:01 am |
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LottomagicZ4941
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Found this posted http://www.clannandrumma.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=53913#53913 orginally intrested in the thread due to a rumor of $100 cat litter.
"> There was once a man who didn't believe in God, and he didn't hesitate to let others know how
he felt about religion and religious holidays. His wife, however, did believe, and she raised
their children to also have faith in God and Jesus, despite the husband's disparaging comments.
> >
> >One snowy Christmas Eve, his wife was taking their children to service the farm community in
which they lived. They were to talk about Jesus' birth. She asked the husband to come, but he
refused.
> >
> >That story is nonsense!" he said. "Why would God lower Himself to come to Earth as a man?
That's ridiculous!"
> >
> >So she and the children left, and he stayed home. A while later, the winds grew stronger and
the snow turned into a blizzard. As the man looked out the window, all he saw was a blinding
snowstorm. He sat down to relax before the fire for the evening.
> >
> >Then he heard a loud thump. Something had hit the window. Then another thump. He looked out,
but couldn't see more than a few feet. When the snow let up a little, he ventured outside to see
what could have been beating on his window.
> >
> >In the field near his house he saw a flock of wild geese. Apparently they had been flying
south for the winter when they got caught in the snowstorm and couldn't go on. They were lost
and stranded on his farm, with no food or shelter. They just flapped their wings and flew around
the field in low circles, blindly and aimlessly. A couple of them had flown into his window, it
seemed.
> >
> >The man felt sorry for the geese and wanted to help them. The barn would be a great place for
them to stay, he thought. It's warm and safe; surely they could spend the night and wait out the
storm. So he walked over to the barn and opened the doors wide, then watched and waited, hoping
they would notice the open barn and go inside. But the geese just fluttered around aimlessly and
didn't seem to notice the barn or realize what it could mean for them.
> >
> >The man tried to get their attention, but that just seemed to scare them, and they moved
further away. He went into the house and came with some bread, broke it up, and made a bread
crumb trail leading to the barn. They still didn't catch on.
> >
> >Now he was getting frustrated. He got behind them and tried to shoo them toward the barn, but
they only got more scared and scattered in every direction except toward the barn. Nothing he
did could get them to go into the barn where they would be warm and safe.
> >
> >"Why don't they follow me?!" he exclaimed. "Can't they see this is the only place where they
can survive the storm?"
> >
> >He thought for a moment and realized that they just wouldn't follow a human. "If only I were
a goose, then I could save them," he said out loud.
> >
> >Then he had an idea. He went into barn, got one of his own geese, and carried it in his arms
as he circled around behind the flock of wild geese. He then released his goose and it flew
through the flock and straight into the barn and one-by-one, the other geese followed it to
safety.
> >
> >He stood silently for a moment as the words he had spoken a few minutes earlier replayed in
his mind: "If only I were a goose, then I could save them!" Then he thought about what he had
said to his wife earlier. "Why would God want to belike us? That's ridiculous!"
> >
> >Suddenly it all made sense. That is what God had done. We were like the geese, blind, lost,
perishing. God had His Son become like us so He could show us the way and save us.
> >
> >As the winds and blinding snow died down, his soul became quiet and pondered this wonderful
thought. Suddenly he understood why Christ had come.
> >
> >Years of doubt and disbelief vanished with the passing storm. He fell to his knees in the
snow, and prayed his first prayer:
> >
> >"Thank You, God, for coming in human form to get me out of the storm!"
> >
> >--Author unknown
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Tue Mar 15, 2005 2:43 pm |
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Vistor
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..in actual story it is "demo"..
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Wed Mar 30, 2005 7:38 am |
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SnapThat
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Vistor, if you're talking about the original post... I don't know what you mean about the "actual story." That is the story.
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Wed Mar 30, 2005 5:03 pm |
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