| Help! Trying to Kill Old Habits Learned at Childhood |
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newmoney
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| Help! Trying to Kill Old Habits Learned at Childhood |
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I'm trying to change my personal finance situation as I find myself a struggling single mother.
It's hard for me to save money because when I do, I feel overwhelmed that I better spend it before I lose it. It sounds weird but it feels like if I don't spend it that it will somehow mysteriously disappear.
Short background: I grew up in a poor family. My mother was a single mother who had 5 kids. She was mainly frugal but did over indulge from time to time with movies and eating out. Overall she did not have a good sense of finance.
I did not learn finances as a kid and trying to change that.
I remember her attitude being that since she did not spend money that often on extra things (because she couldn't) that every once in awhile (actually, more often than she should have) go to the movies or buy mainly junk from the used stores. This was her way of indulgence.
I seemed to learn some of the behavior but instead of saving money, I find myself in fear that it will disappear by the time I need it, that it somehow won't be there or that I'll forget about it and suffer later. LOL.
It sounds silly but wondering if anyone could give advice about how I am viewing money / feeling /etc so that I can step in the right direction toward a better future for myself and my own daughter.
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Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:20 pm |
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oldguy
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quote:
It's hard for me to save money because when I do, I feel overwhelmed that I better spend it before I lose it.
And so you are losing it anyway? Maybe the worrying about it makes it happen. The answer is so simple - quit that - save a part of every pay check.
That is not as trite as it sounds. The people who pay all the bills first and then save what is leftover at the end of the month never have anything leftover to save. So always save first and then live on what is leftover - those are the people who accumulate wealth. And it doesn't take a lot - $417/m for 30 yrs = a million when invested at 11%/yr.
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Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:12 am |
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newmoney
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Thank you. I will give that a try. Makes sense.
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Sun Nov 27, 2011 3:35 am |
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tarako
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Save 10% of what you earn. That's in the beginning anyway. Simply saving every month is a great feeling. It is exciting to watch it grow.
Re how you think about money you have to educate yourself as to the ways it flows in and (more importantly) out of your life.
Plan and budget. You need to know where every penny is going. Keep good records of your expenditure so you can identify wastage. You don't have to be an accountant a simple spreadsheet will do.
Good financial habits will mean less worry in your life.
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Sun Nov 27, 2011 9:38 am |
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krnndug
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| Help! Trying to Kill Old Habits Learned at Childhood |
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Both replies are right on. I also came from a single parent household where my mother didn't teach us about finance. I have made quite a few mistakes but we are in the process of straightening stuff out. It is always best to save first, then pay. My heart goes out to you because I know the struggle you have as a single mom. Not only did I come from a single parent household but I married a terrific gal who had 3 kids and I see how hard it is with 2 and can't believe my mom actually survived with me 
I hate opening bills because I don't want to see what I owe, but it is only paper. You have the most important job first, you and your kids. With your desire and new discipline you will do fine..
Good luck
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Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:47 am |
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newmoney
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I tried something different. Usually I get paid direct deposit unto my debit card and pay bills and all purchases through that, hardly ever holding cash.
Instead, I withdrew all my money and divided it in front of my face, put a few bucks away into savings and stashed away part of the rent.
Weird but I feel better with it not being on my debit card. It was too easy to spend and I get paranoid about leaving it there.
I think that may have been the issue. We'll see!
Thanks all.
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Mon Nov 28, 2011 9:39 pm |
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newmoney
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| Re: Help! Trying to Kill Old Habits Learned at Childhood |
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quote:
Originally posted by krnndug
My heart goes out to you because I know the struggle you have as a single mom. ....
Good luck
Thank you.
I've been doing okay the past couple of years living on my own with my daughter. Though, I've had to borrow a few times to pay rent here and there. However, recently we came close to being evicted and that was enough for me. Now I have become obsessed with being even more frugal and learning to cut costs, save money and get my finances to a healthier level.
I don't use credit cards, no checks, no car payments, no debt, minimal bills, on no government help. So..it's like...what else can I cut and do?? It's tough!
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Mon Nov 28, 2011 9:44 pm |
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